You know those times in your life when you are tired?
I know you do.
The ones where you're not necessarily faking being happy all of the time, but over all you're so sad that it keeps creeping up on you (and you know it's coming dang it) until it finally catches up to you and it's all you can do to pull yourself out of bed in the mornings?
Yeah, me too.
You really don't see how you're ever going to be truly happy again.
There's really no light at the end of the tunnel, not even a glimmer of a light.
There just appears to be nothing.
You're not getting any inspiration from anything around you.
And you can go ahead and forget about divine inspiration.
The things that you always knew were there for you to count on have completely changed.
They're no longer constants.
Pieces of them, maybe.
Fragments of the whole that you thought would be the thing you could always fall back on.
Then you wake up one day and it's gone.
What are you supposed to do then?
PRAY.
I don't care how you do it; whether it's on your knees, in a yoga pose, or through writing music or poetry. Whatever floats your boat at this point. Whatever allows you to feel connected in any way, shape or form to a higher power.
Because I have come to see that, no matter what on earth happens to you, the one thing that you can ALWAYS do is pray.
To God.
To Buddha.
To the Universe.
I don't care.
Just pray.
It's the one place that you can truly let every feeling, every emotion, every secret out. There's no one waiting to judge you. There's no one there vocally giving you advice. There's no one giving you empty words of comfort.
There's just occasional peace.
I say occasional because it doesn't happen all of the time.
Sometimes you don't feel anything different.
But every now and then you'll have a MOMENT.
A second where you truly forget the aching that your heart has been non stop doing.
A second where you feel like your old self again. Where you're not hurting. A second where the pain ceases, for just a moment.
It's the moment right after the one where you're wondering what on Earth you're doing sitting among thousands of people in a church gathering, for a religion that you don't know if you can even handle at the moment because of all the talk of eternal things. Then a man stands up, the heavens open and he delivers an entire twenty minute talk on simplicity. One that was crafted by that higher power to speak DIRECTLY to me. In the very second that I needed it.
Simplicity.
The moment that you hear the truck engine running outside of your house even though it's supposed to be on a highway somewhere other than here and you go for a twenty minute ride in one of the most majestic machines ever crafted, with some of the most important people in the world to you.
Semis.
The moment where you're all hunkered down among pillows and blankets with your popcorn, candy and sodas watching a comedy. A comedy that makes you truly laugh. (You remember, that feeling that you had almost forgotten about?) You're laying there surrounded by people that are never in the same room together anymore. People who you used to spend time with carefree, but who those moments don't happen with anymore.
Slumber parties.
Those brief, fleeting answers to prayers.
The ones that you want to hold on to so bad that you almost cry when you think back to them.
The ones where everything seems so simple again.
The ones that are truly sent from God to remind you that there is hope. That things will turn around again. That you won't always feel so filled with dispair. That you will be truly happy again. That there IS someone up there who truly cares about you, however foreign that concept may seem at the time.
The ones that allow you to get up off of the ground and put just one foot in front of the other just one more time....
Thank God for those moments.
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