...thoughts, thoughts, thoughts...

New things are scary.
But they're also super exciting.
I think that's why people do them.
The adrenaline rush. The thrill of doing something that you have no idea how it will turn out.
I think that's probably why I love art so much.
When you start with a blank canvas, there's the possibility of it turning out as a masterpiece.
Then there's also the possibility of it turning out not at all how you imagined.
What are you supposed to do then?
I tend to favor scratching the original idea and just going with it, and seeing where that takes you!
It's splendid really.

Like this? Yeah, it was until this evening holding books on the shelf next to my bed. I decided it needed a little something extra. I think it's heading in a good direction.
The feeling of being in the middle of creating something that no one else has ever created before is what keeps me coming back time and time again.
I kind of feel like my life is this shelf recently.
I've been stuck in this huge rut, focusing on all of the things in life that I have no control over, and I was forgetting about my life.
I was waiting for this situation to pass so that my life could begin again.
How dumb is that??
This IS my life!
Right now.
This very minute.
So, I took a leap of faith at work, I called in and cancelled my requested availability for school, I dropped all of my classes that I was registered for and I picked up my CDL handbook.
I can see the country and get paid to do it.
I don't know what took me so long either.

It's essentially everything that I want in my life at this moment.
I asked my dad to ask his bosses if I could drive and they were all for the idea.
That had been my excuse for not actually going for it "It might not work out with the company."
I didn't have an excuse anymore.
So, I (spur of the moment) called and told them I could work anytime so that I can save and get things squared away to live this little dream of mine.
And you know what?
I may hate it.
BUT I will never have to look back and wonder what if...
If that's all that I get out of this life, I think I will be happy, I don't want to have "What if's" or regrets.
I may not be at the same place as others my age, or at a place that is socially acceptable, but you know what? I'm enjoying the ride :)
I was channel surfing and I saw an interview with Rainn Wilson and it literally blew my mind.
He started this website called Soul Pancake and also has a book that just came out.
It's amazing.
He suggests "Reverse Pick-Pocketing" which is where you write an uplifting message on a bill of your choice and slip it into someones pocket.
Wow.
I had never ever thought about giving someone a dollar bill with something nice written on it.
How great is that?
Oh man.
Seriously, check out the website and buy the book. (No I'm not getting any kickbacks for advertising haha)

That's what's been on my mind tonight :)
Aroha