On Growing Up...

...sounds like it's going to be a noble post, right?

It's not.

Mostly it's going to be complaining.

Growing up is hard. There are responsibilities and stuff that come along with it. People expect you to act grownup as well as just being grownup. Society thinks that I have the capacity to make life altering decisions. When did this happen? I started screaming when the Spice Girls reunited at the Olympic ceremonies last year, enough said. 

(Adults use the bullet point system to organize thoughts. Watch this.)

-Relationships of all shapes and sizes get more complicated. Those friends that you pinky promised with that you would never grow apart from? Yeah, the most interaction you have with them anymore is Facebook stalking and the occasional, "We should do lunch" text. Since when did we get old enough to "do lunch?" That was for old ladies in pantsuits not all that long ago. Plus making new friends at this age is odd, there's no such thing as "hanging out," there's planned out double dates, or play dates (I'm attending my very first one of those this week, solo. Not sure how I feel about this....) and other grown up appropriate activities.

-When you're in high school, the most drama you get in a relationship is, "Oh. My. God. Did you really talk to Suzie last period? Are you trying to ruin my life?" Then you get to this stage in life and you have long term education and career plans, previous relationships, kids, etc. to deal with. And that's all on top of your own issues (I don't have any of course, but I've heard that other people do) to take into account when you're deciding who you want to gamble on. There's also the fact that relationships now go places, as in they get serious. The commitment-phobe in me dies a little even writing that. 

-There seems to be a time table of having your life figured out that we're all supposed to be on, like buying a house and having a baby-I'm sitting here at 24 (and 1/2) and I'm still wandering. Don't get me wrong, I'm owning being aimless, but it gets old explaining to people that I'm very happy following my heart, thankyouverymuch. 

-To top it all off there's the fact that you find a conscious, and who really wants one of those anyways? 

*steps off of soap box*

Here's the kicker, even with all of the previously addressed topics, growing up is kind of awesome. Those relationships that are super hard, are also really amazing. As scary as long term commitments can be with your significant other, the payoff is absolutely worth it, you'll love them more than you imagined was possible. (Turns out that stud from third period math was not in fact the only man you would ever love...I was just so sure!) Connections that are made with people go deeper than you could ever have imagined they could. Hanging out with your best friend's kids is the most fun you have on any given day. Double (or even triple) dates are a blast, because you're surrounded by the people that you care about, and in turn with the ones that they care about. 

The possible roads you can take in life are so many that it's almost overwhelming. That is so so cool though. Because as much as having my parents take care of all of my bills was nice, and being required to attend high school (as loosely as I used that required word at the time) gave a sense of security-being in control of life is pretty awesome. 

Terrifying, but awesome.  

Just a helpful hint to remember as you "grow up."

The Universe Sure Is Hilarious...

...sometimes hilariously so. I got a good laugh out of rereading the last post on here from a year ago. All I wanted in that post was to feel something-the universe sure knows how to deliver. The last year has been one of the most emotion filled of my life.

My whole "thing" in that post from a year ago was the concern about how I was in a rut, and how I was going to break out of it, and where I was going, and how I wanted to feel something. The universe decided to step right on in and show me that there are bigger things than just me on my own. I wanted emotion, and feeling in my life, and I wanted it to be real and intense-turns out that you only get the real shit when you care for someone else more than yourself. 

Turns out that when you throw someone in the mix that you think is really cute, and kinda funny, your world sort of starts to turn a little bit differently. 

You've never liked the idea of "forever" with someone before, but now "for a long time" doesn't seem so scary. You've never liked being labeled, but now "girlfriend" has a nice ring to it. You've never liked being left out of the latest get together on the town, but now sweats and a movie is the highlight of your week. You've never even thought to look on Pinterest at the Weddings, Kids or Recipes boards, but now they're your most visited.

Then, once you're hooked, something happens and it's going to make or break this thing with this really cute person. The rose colored glasses come off and all of a sudden, all of their demons and really dark places are right there, staring you down. How much are you willing to gamble at that moment? How much are you willing to put on the line? How much faith do you have in them?

I just want to publicly tell the universe that when I asked to feel something last year I meant that I wanted to have a little crush on someone, or find some new cause to get involved in. 

Universe, you sure dropped the ball on this one...

There might be something to it....